


Only Drunken Fools and Horse's mums

by Rowboat_Girlyman



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Crack, Drunken Shenanigans, F/M, Got stuck in my head and had to be written, Humor, Implied Sexual Content, Implied armikasa - Freeform, Jeans mum is divorced, No cheating, Oneshot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-20
Updated: 2018-12-20
Packaged: 2019-09-23 12:34:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,232
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17080427
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rowboat_Girlyman/pseuds/Rowboat_Girlyman
Summary: A night out in Trost, Eren left on his own, lots of booze. What could go wrong?Well Jean's mum is there... so a lot I guess.





	Only Drunken Fools and Horse's mums

**Author's Note:**

> Hello all, this is my first ever fanfiction, in fact its my first time writing anything purely because I wanted too.
> 
> You know when you get an idea stuck in you head and cant get rid of it? Well that is what caused this.
> 
> This fic is suppose to be a bit silly and hopefully humours and hopefully at least some of you might get some mild amusement out of it.

Two years, two long backbreaking, soul crushing years of basic training and they still had a year to go before they graduate.

However, in a rare showing of kindness, Keith ‘Sadist’ Shadis had given them a weekend off in celebration of them surviving their second year. The 104th had decided to spend their free weekend in Trost getting drunk and partying, well most of the 104th that is.

Eren smirked into his drink imagining Horseface being forced to clean the latrines this weekend after he mouth off to an instructor after losing to Eren in hand to hand combat, couldn’t have happened to a better person in Eren’s mind.

Looking up from his drink he looked around the bar assessing the state of the other cadets; Hannah and Franz seemed to be trying to eat each other’s faces off or something (they said it was snogging but it definitely looked more cannibalistic than romantic to Eren’s eyes), Marco, Daz, Mina and Thomas where swaying and singing some song he had never heard of before, while Connie and Sasha looked as if they had passed out on the table after seeing who could drink the most, however, Eren noticed that if someone put a drink in front of them, their seemingly passed out bodies would reach for it and neck it down.

Lastly, he saw Bertolt trying to carry a very, _very_ , drunk Reiner to a bench so he could lay down. Reiner had foolishly challenged Krista to a drinking game expecting an easy victory, he clearly didn’t expect Krista to be a one-woman drinking machine who quickly drank him under the table.

Ymir had only smirked as she hoisted Krista up, “That’s my girl, showing those morons who boss.”

 

Finally, Eren turned his head to see how Armin and Mikasa where doing but to his surprise he only saw an empty table with dozens of empty mugs.

He tried to think back to when and where those two went and what they were doing, unfortunately his memory had become quite fuzzy after the first 5 drinks, but from the drunken looks they had been given each other he wasn’t sure he wanted to know.

 

With a sigh, Eren began the difficult process of commanding his drunken body to stand and walk over the Marco and his group, seeing as singing with them would be more fun than drinking on his own.

But as Eren started to stand, a woman slid into the seat in front of him with a smile and a drink, “Now, what’s a strong soldier like you doing drinking on his own?”, now a sober Eren whose experience talking with girls could be summed up with the words ‘what experience?’ may have said something along the lines of “Thinking of how to massacre those titan scum” or lambasting the cowardness of the MPs or the incompetence of the garrison division.

Fortunately, drunken Eren is a fraction better at talking to girls and decided to use one of the lines he read in one of Armin’s books “I was wondering what a beauty such as you is doing in a place like this?” with only minimum slurring.

Nailed it!

The corners of her mouth twitch upwards for a second whilst a brief look of amusement flickered across her face

“I’m Corinne”

Something about that name was vaguely familiar, but he couldn’t place where he had heard the name before.

“Eren”

“Well Eren, I hope you don’t mind if I sit and join you for a drink?”

“N..no, please sit.”

 

A few hours and several drinks later

* * *

 

“… and then the bartender said can I push your stool in?”

The laughter that followed was cut off the bartender announcing it was closing time. Eren tried to supress the disappointment he felt that he and Corinne would have to go their separate ways, he would stumble back to Garrison’s barracks where the cadets had been given some bunks for the weekend, while Corinne would go back to her ‘Lonely, empty house’ as she had called it.

“Looks like I need to head back to the barracks, this has been great.”

“Oh” replied Corinne with a sly smile “well you don’t have to go back to the barracks if you don’t want, I’ve got some drinks at home if you’d like? Maybe you could finish telling me that story.”

Eren who was currently give his best impression of a tomato stuttered out “YES, I mean yeah, that sounds good”

 

 

The next morning

* * *

The next morning Eren stumbled out of Corinne’s house, missing one of his socks, his jacket and with a legendary case of bedhead. Before he could even begin to collect himself, he heard his name being yelled down the street.

“EREN! Oh, thank the walls we found you. You didn’t come back to the barracks and we were worried that you had gotten lost or been kidnapped. Are you okay?” said Marco, the Trost resident who was clearly using his knowledge of the districts layout to lead the cadets in this impromptu search and rescue mission.  

“I’m fine guys, honestly” Eren replied as he surveyed the state of his fellow cadets. Most of them looked dreadful, large shadows under their eyes, somewhere clutching their heads trying to relieve headaches, others such as Sasha and Connie were clutching their stomachs either because they felt sick or because they hadn’t eaten in a few hours. Could be either with those two.

Armin and Mikasa seemed to be determined to look at anything but each other, but both were stealing glances when the other was looking away. ‘Oh boy, that’s going to be a fun conversation later’ Eren thought.

Before Eren could be bombarded with anymore questions, a call from above interrupted them Corinne dressed in her nightie had leaned out the window with his Jacket in hand “Eren, you forgot your jac… Marco?!”

“Mrs. Kirstein?!”

All the cadets, along with Eren stood frozen with wide eyes and dropped jaws, the implication of what happened between Eren and Jean’s mum was too shocking to process.

…

…

…

Oh, _that’s_ why her name sounded so familiar

 

The mess hall back at bootcamp

* * *

 The word ‘tense’ doesn’t even begin to describe the atmosphere in the mess hall that evening the tale of the morning had spread like wildfire and within the hour every member of 104th had heard the story.

The cadets sat quietly, eating their food with minimal fuss, even Sasha was eating like a normal human being, everyone was waiting for the moment when it would all boil over. On opposite sides of the mess hall sat two boys, one was radiating an aura of pure hatred and anger while his freckled friend tries every trick in the book to try and calm him down, while on the other side of the hall the boy was radiating pure, concentrated smugness and seemed to be desperately fighting off the desire to laugh.

 

The hall watched almost in slow motion as the boy opened his mouth to speak, everyone tensed, muscles staining to stop any movement as they all held their breath knowing full well what was about to happen.

 

“Hey Jean”

What little noise could be heard in the hall stopped immediately, even the birds outside seemed to stop chirping.

“Guess what?”

The silence seemed to stretch for an eternity.

 “I fucked your mum”

**Author's Note:**

> Well there we go, if you got to the end hopefully you didn't hate it too much.
> 
> I made Armin and Mikasa hook up in this fic  
> a) As an easy way to get them out of the picture and  
> b) because Armikasa is the best ship dont @ me


End file.
